Have you ever felt defeated and destroyed by how things turned out with a guy? Have you felt that all guys are jerks? Or that something is wrong with you and you may never find happiness in love?
I was in and out of such thoughts for many years, progressing from bad to horrible. Granted, there were happy spikes, a few months of bliss with a new boyfriend, and then with another one, but then more-or-less the same issues would come up.
Like why is he not pursuing me anymore?
And those same issues would feel worse every time because the guys would change and I would be the only constant in this pattern. It was harder and harder to blame all the failures on the guys.
What if it’s all my fault?
And I was getting so angry.
Every breakup would be more dramatic than the previous ones. We would hurt each other in more and more elaborate ways. Let’s just say that the break-up when the guy threw my furniture across my living room (thankfully not aiming at me) was not the worst of all my breakups.
Meanwhile, I was getting more and more educated and knowledgeable. A master’s in math, a master’s in economics, and a PhD (from MIT, no less!) in marketing, a beginning successful corporate career. And with all that, I was starting to feel more and more stupid.
How come, I know all this stuff and have all these skills but cannot solve the one problem that for many women seems not to appear a problem at all?
Was I just not lucky?
It’s only when I reached the bottom, that I realized that it was on me to change things. That I could no longer wait for a better guy to show up.
In many ways I saw that the guys showing up were better. It’s how events ultimately unfolded that was getting worse.
I had to change everything I did. I would listen to anyone who would give me advice. I started reading the “Mars and Venus” books and “He’s Just Not That into You” and then anything that would come my way. I even hosted a two-hour “conference” in my apartment with just one other participant, a girlfriend of mine, on relationship self-help books.
And I started dating online and practicing tools. And those aha moments just felt incredible.
Even though I am absolutely non-religious, I often felt, while reading some of these books or listening to dating gurus, a cathartic experience. I felt like god was talking to me and opening to me obvious truths that had somehow been hidden from me.
And then, while things were still pretty shaky in my own dating life, but getting less hopeless, I felt the urge to preach. To tell others about all those things that we are all doing so naturally and that do not work.
Ultimately, I discovered Rori Raye’s “Targeting Mr. Right” program and took it to the extreme. I was so determined to become happy in my love life that I promised myself to try anything legal even if it felt “wrong” and scary.
I dated until I saw a ring on my finger. And when I accepted my future husband’s proposal, the first thing he asked me was “Will you stop dating other guys now?”
I did. I am now in the best relationship of my life and it keeps getting better. And I so want to share it with others who are in that hopeless state I used to be in.
It can all change and it can all change so quickly, you’ll be surprised.
And the measures you have to take, while they may seem radical, will not necessarily require you to work hard. In fact, many techniques will relieve you of the extra burden you have taken on.
And the best part is there are no games involved. I’ll never ask you to do something that you cannot relate to and feel like it’s really you, even if you pause initially.
Welcome and congratulations, you’ve already done the first step! You came here. You are ready for the change. You are on the way to feel amazing about yourself and the men you are with!